banjaluka guide

You know your feeling better, when your conscious starts bothering you.

Got 3 apologies to let out, so here they are:

#1 Sorry for the delay in replies. Life constantly keeps hitting me over the head

#2 recently on FM, I was in discussion with a dragonness I know of, about previous times. She couldnapos;t understand what happened to me, when I use to be so fun, and enjoyable to be around. I finally explain that between 2001, to 2005 I was going though an emotional and mental abuse that I couldnapos;t deal with. She said that I was acting like a jerk, and yes. I probably *was*. When your under such a stress, you get quite defensive. I also explained that I lost several friends, 2 is on "life support", and only two have stayed with me fully. Even family members have been scarred. I had to re-evaluate everything and everyone, and a year afterwords, I was still waiting for the next shoe to drop; probably right on my head.

If my younger readers is wondering, 2001 was 9/11, About 2002 was the start a failed romance, that ended up with the police calling me, after her family members went balastic. (The police was simply was looking for info, and it was brief), Also the mother called me too, looking for info as well.

Then around this time, maybe a year or so before I had to return home. With that, started my descedent into the last three levels of hell, A cousin passed on, then next year 6 months of helping my rapidly dying uncle (whom I was close too) who had cancer, then was put finally in the nursing home because of paralysis, with it ending with him passing, without me saying goodbye. Lastly, the last 6 months with my beloved dal, Dot was in pain from Hip Dysplacia, then I having to end her suffering. This was followed by a year onto the mountain of purgatory to redeem myself (at least in my mind)

All thatapos;s left me bitter, nervous, and loosing all interest in humans for a mate thing. I just donapos;t want to deal with humanapos;s bullshit anymore.

So my apologies is; if I was acting like a jerk during or since then, Iapos;m sorry. You canapos;t go though all that, and not be changed. I just ask that you remind me if I seem to be going on the jerk train, and to hop off.

#3 and finally. About the last post. I wonapos;t retract all of what I wrote, but I will say that not ALL of humanity is pond scum. I reliezed finally that you all arenapos;t in that category. Most furs, and people whom I let into my friends circle are by my definition the best of humanity.

I still am pissed, and angered that a society considers what I wrote acceptable, and perhapses thatapos;s whatapos;s wrong with the world today. That we as humans teach our children that animals have no emotions, feel no pain, and is just something to used and abuse. This is one of the great mistakes of world religions (the same toward females is another). For that can lead to crime. If they have no empany toward another lifeforms, what empany do they have toward their own kind? Itapos;s something that humanity must learn, less we wonapos;t be worthy of living. I think that Adama, and six had some words in that regard, but I canapos;t find it on the web to quote any of that. But sheapos;s right.

But I can say this; you all have the perfect out. If you donapos;t believe me, or want me, look up how to defriend someone on LJ, Take me off your WF me on FurryMUCK, or what ever else it takes to set me adrift from your circle(s). I only speak the truth, and I wonapos;t deliberately harm anyone.

- Shado

cmk model, banjaluka guide, banjaluka glas srpske, banjaluka forumi vader, banjaluka danas.